Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Track 13: Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer
This entry is dedicated to Meagan White.
I feel like this semester has been draining me emotionally. Sometimes it feels like there's so much to care about and so many people to check up on that I feel like the happiness is slowly being pressed out of me.
I'm not really a depressing person, at least, I don't think so. But I think lately I've been really pessimistic about a lot of things, perhaps unnecessarily. I don't know how to stop myself, though. Maybe I just need to feel this sadness out, and things will get better.
I've also been trapped in a "boy-web", if you want to call it that. It isn't really a triangle, because both boys do not reciprocate any feelings towards me. It's more like there are vectors going from me to each of them, but no vectors returning. (Yep, I still have the science geek in me). But what I don't understand is why I can't just leave it to God. I try, I try every day to surrender my heart to God, but I still end up taking it back. And I don't know why, because obviously I am completely clueless in this area of my life. And, so I begin anew...today is the day I start surrendering wholly and permanently. Hold me accountable, please.
On a more positive note, the SASF retreat was amazing. I really needed the weekend to clear my head, meet some great people, relax, and laugh uncontrollably. I'll definitely mark it in my calender as one of the best retreats ever.
I feel like this semester has been draining me emotionally. Sometimes it feels like there's so much to care about and so many people to check up on that I feel like the happiness is slowly being pressed out of me.
I'm not really a depressing person, at least, I don't think so. But I think lately I've been really pessimistic about a lot of things, perhaps unnecessarily. I don't know how to stop myself, though. Maybe I just need to feel this sadness out, and things will get better.
I've also been trapped in a "boy-web", if you want to call it that. It isn't really a triangle, because both boys do not reciprocate any feelings towards me. It's more like there are vectors going from me to each of them, but no vectors returning. (Yep, I still have the science geek in me). But what I don't understand is why I can't just leave it to God. I try, I try every day to surrender my heart to God, but I still end up taking it back. And I don't know why, because obviously I am completely clueless in this area of my life. And, so I begin anew...today is the day I start surrendering wholly and permanently. Hold me accountable, please.
On a more positive note, the SASF retreat was amazing. I really needed the weekend to clear my head, meet some great people, relax, and laugh uncontrollably. I'll definitely mark it in my calender as one of the best retreats ever.
# posted by Jillian : 6:57 AM
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What makes me happy? SEEING BLOG ENTRIES DEDICATED TO MEEEE. Little things make my lifffffe.
So, next weekend (in a week and a bit), you, Kayla, Robyn if she's available, and me. BAGEL CAFE AND OUR HOUSE FOR LOVE ACTUALLY AND RENT AND OTHER RANDOM FUN. yayyyyyy.
P.S. Boys are distracting. Especially when we have none. I'll keep you accountable ff you'll keep me accountable.
Accountability tip #1:
There's no point if you're not ready to get married yet. hehe.
Yepppp. Words of the wise.
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So, next weekend (in a week and a bit), you, Kayla, Robyn if she's available, and me. BAGEL CAFE AND OUR HOUSE FOR LOVE ACTUALLY AND RENT AND OTHER RANDOM FUN. yayyyyyy.
P.S. Boys are distracting. Especially when we have none. I'll keep you accountable ff you'll keep me accountable.
Accountability tip #1:
There's no point if you're not ready to get married yet. hehe.
Yepppp. Words of the wise.
<< Home
