Monday, February 19, 2007
Track 17: Zanzibar - Billy Joel
I have a new cell phone! It looks a little something like this:
I'm in love, to say the least. I actually wrote an email to a friend about my new phone and told him that if I never got a boyfriend, I'd be completely content with my phone. And that's when I started thinking how screwed up my perspective really is.
I wasn't really serious about being in love with my phone, but the fact that I can say it with such ease and people just as easily accept it is a problem. I was talking to a friend the other night and I said something along the lines of "I'd marry him based solely on his voice". He didn't laugh, but instead responded with "No, you wouldn't". And then I realized how easily I can throw around such important ideas like love and marriage for something as stupid as a singer or an inanimate object.
In other news, it's mid-term break. I slept in this morning until 10:30. I woke up at 6:30 originally, because I forgot to turn off my alarm, and then I realized how wonderful it was that I didn't have anywhere to be or anything to do (aside from mountains of school work) until later today. The only problem with being off school is that I eat all the time and laze around and watch movies. I also don't get to see all the people I normally do. I don't deal well with break in routine.
I bought the new Billy Joel CD, 12 Gardens Live, and I love it. It has all his greatest stuff on it (minus Leningrad), plus some new jazzy tunes that I've never heard before, such as Zanzibar. It's a huge fear of mine that I'll never get to see Billy Joel in concert before he retires, so I've decided to start saving up to see him in concert before he throws in the towel, so to speak.
I've got the old man's car,
I've got a jazz guitar
I've got a tab at Zanzibar
Tonight that's where I'll be
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Track 16: February Song - Josh Groban
It's funny...
When there's volumes of things to say, I can't get a word out.
My grandmother, Emma Churchill Thompson (Dawe) passed away on Monday, February 5th, 2007. She went peacefully, comfortably, and as a very, very loved woman.
When someone dies, people only remember the good things. Maybe this is terrible of me, but the day after Nan died, I was thinking about that, and I was trying to remember some of the "bad" things, because I don't want to remember her as perfect, because she wasn't. And truthfully, I couldn't remember a single one. I remember being mad at her, I remember being annoyed, but every single time it was because I was in one of my moods and I wasn't in the mood to talk to her, or she was interrupting my "me" time, or she was just trying to get to know me better.
I don't think there was a more beautiful woman on this planet than my grandmother. And I'm not just saying that because she was my grandmother, because she truly was the most amazing person I have ever known. In my ignorance and my romantic dilusions based on fiction novels and movies, I thought that on her death bed my nan would "choose a favourite". What I mean by that is I thought she'd favour one of her children or grandchildren more, like she would ask for someone more often than others, or she would want one person to always be by her side.
But it wasn't like that at all, not even close.
The way my grandmother showed her love to her family during the last week of her life was exactly the way Jesus loves us. She had no favourites, she had no negativity - she just loved. She loved everyone just because they existed. My grandmother loved Jesus with her whole heart, and that reflected in her life until her dying day.
I thank God I was given such a beautiful example of his love on earth for the first 19 years of my life. He really does know how to bless his children.
Moring is waking up
And sometimes it's more than just enough
And all that you need to love
Is in front of your eyes
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Track 15: Sheltered in the Arms of God
Many a thanks to Meagan for the macaroni and cheese. It's half gone already. It really was a beautiful gesture. Much love.
This song has been running through my head all day. My grandmother wants this sung by her grandchildren at her funeral, which may be sooner than we'd like. It's so beautiful and appropriate, though. She seemed very at peace today when we were reading the lyrics and listening to it. That's the way it should be.
I feel the touch of hands so kind and tender.
They're leading me in the paths that I must trod.
I'll have no fear for Jesus walks beside me
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
So let the storm clouds rage,
The dark clouds rise,
They don't bother me;
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
He walks with me,
And naught of earth shall harm me,
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
Soon I shall hear the call from heaven's portals
Come home my child,
It's the last mile you must trod
I'll fall asleep
And wake in God's sweet heaven
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
So let the storm clouds rage,
The dark clouds rise,
They don't bother me;
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
He walks with me,
And naught of earth shall harm me,
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
This song has been running through my head all day. My grandmother wants this sung by her grandchildren at her funeral, which may be sooner than we'd like. It's so beautiful and appropriate, though. She seemed very at peace today when we were reading the lyrics and listening to it. That's the way it should be.
I feel the touch of hands so kind and tender.
They're leading me in the paths that I must trod.
I'll have no fear for Jesus walks beside me
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
So let the storm clouds rage,
The dark clouds rise,
They don't bother me;
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
He walks with me,
And naught of earth shall harm me,
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
Soon I shall hear the call from heaven's portals
Come home my child,
It's the last mile you must trod
I'll fall asleep
And wake in God's sweet heaven
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
So let the storm clouds rage,
The dark clouds rise,
They don't bother me;
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
He walks with me,
And naught of earth shall harm me,
For I'm sheltered in the arms of God.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Track 14: Twenty-Four - Switchfoot
I think all of my entries from now on will be dedicated to Meagan White, seeing as how she checks my blog "like three times a day" (direct quote from M.W.) for updates.
Sorry, Meagan, I'll never update that much.
As of 2:30 am on Sunday morning, I was the sickest I've been in quite a few years. The culprit? Don't quote me on this, as I've yet to get a medically verified response, but NORWALK. Yes, I believe, after my months of obsessing over hand sanitizer, hot water and soap, and avoidance of germs, Norwalk paid me a visit. Luckily, I've lost roughly six pounds, what with my inability to eat or drink anything for over 24 hours. That's one upside, I suppose! There's always a silver lining, yes?
In other news, this weekend feels like it last so much longer than it really did. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and a few other people in a very short period of time. On Friday I had a really unexpected yet deep talk with one of my good friends. It was really good to get into some interesting spiritual perspectives with him, to see how he really felt about certain areas in his life.
People surprise me a lot, I've realized. People say and do things that don't fit into the category that I've put them in, and then I'm either dissapointed or impressed. I'm thinking I should stop catergorizing people, but I do like being surprised.
I had forgotten how good this song is.
Sorry, Meagan, I'll never update that much.
As of 2:30 am on Sunday morning, I was the sickest I've been in quite a few years. The culprit? Don't quote me on this, as I've yet to get a medically verified response, but NORWALK. Yes, I believe, after my months of obsessing over hand sanitizer, hot water and soap, and avoidance of germs, Norwalk paid me a visit. Luckily, I've lost roughly six pounds, what with my inability to eat or drink anything for over 24 hours. That's one upside, I suppose! There's always a silver lining, yes?
In other news, this weekend feels like it last so much longer than it really did. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and a few other people in a very short period of time. On Friday I had a really unexpected yet deep talk with one of my good friends. It was really good to get into some interesting spiritual perspectives with him, to see how he really felt about certain areas in his life.
People surprise me a lot, I've realized. People say and do things that don't fit into the category that I've put them in, and then I'm either dissapointed or impressed. I'm thinking I should stop catergorizing people, but I do like being surprised.
And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
All of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
With twenty four hearts
All of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
I had forgotten how good this song is.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Track 13: Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer
This entry is dedicated to Meagan White.
I feel like this semester has been draining me emotionally. Sometimes it feels like there's so much to care about and so many people to check up on that I feel like the happiness is slowly being pressed out of me.
I'm not really a depressing person, at least, I don't think so. But I think lately I've been really pessimistic about a lot of things, perhaps unnecessarily. I don't know how to stop myself, though. Maybe I just need to feel this sadness out, and things will get better.
I've also been trapped in a "boy-web", if you want to call it that. It isn't really a triangle, because both boys do not reciprocate any feelings towards me. It's more like there are vectors going from me to each of them, but no vectors returning. (Yep, I still have the science geek in me). But what I don't understand is why I can't just leave it to God. I try, I try every day to surrender my heart to God, but I still end up taking it back. And I don't know why, because obviously I am completely clueless in this area of my life. And, so I begin anew...today is the day I start surrendering wholly and permanently. Hold me accountable, please.
On a more positive note, the SASF retreat was amazing. I really needed the weekend to clear my head, meet some great people, relax, and laugh uncontrollably. I'll definitely mark it in my calender as one of the best retreats ever.
I feel like this semester has been draining me emotionally. Sometimes it feels like there's so much to care about and so many people to check up on that I feel like the happiness is slowly being pressed out of me.
I'm not really a depressing person, at least, I don't think so. But I think lately I've been really pessimistic about a lot of things, perhaps unnecessarily. I don't know how to stop myself, though. Maybe I just need to feel this sadness out, and things will get better.
I've also been trapped in a "boy-web", if you want to call it that. It isn't really a triangle, because both boys do not reciprocate any feelings towards me. It's more like there are vectors going from me to each of them, but no vectors returning. (Yep, I still have the science geek in me). But what I don't understand is why I can't just leave it to God. I try, I try every day to surrender my heart to God, but I still end up taking it back. And I don't know why, because obviously I am completely clueless in this area of my life. And, so I begin anew...today is the day I start surrendering wholly and permanently. Hold me accountable, please.
On a more positive note, the SASF retreat was amazing. I really needed the weekend to clear my head, meet some great people, relax, and laugh uncontrollably. I'll definitely mark it in my calender as one of the best retreats ever.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Track 12: The Finish Line - Snow Patrol
I am absolutely loving the Snow Patrol CD that Kayla bought us. I thought they might be one of those typical emo bands who can't think of any original melodies or chords so they play the same ones over and over again. *cough* Nickelback *cough*.
School started yesterday. I have to say, I'm kind of apprehensive about this term. I really need to buckle down, because I know I can do really well in my courses if I put in the amount of work needed. I have less papers to write this semester than last, so if I get a move on them now I can avoid the stress of everything piling up at once.
I have this feeling that everything is changing, and it's all happening very quickly. I feel the changes in my bones. I know that sounds weird, but it's like everything has shifted. People have left, others have come. And I'm in this weird position of wondering where I'm going to fit into this new arrangement. I can almost envision my relationships changing, and I'm not sure if I want to see that. In fact, I know I don't. It's weird how a few people can change the entire dynamic of your group of friends.
School started yesterday. I have to say, I'm kind of apprehensive about this term. I really need to buckle down, because I know I can do really well in my courses if I put in the amount of work needed. I have less papers to write this semester than last, so if I get a move on them now I can avoid the stress of everything piling up at once.
I have this feeling that everything is changing, and it's all happening very quickly. I feel the changes in my bones. I know that sounds weird, but it's like everything has shifted. People have left, others have come. And I'm in this weird position of wondering where I'm going to fit into this new arrangement. I can almost envision my relationships changing, and I'm not sure if I want to see that. In fact, I know I don't. It's weird how a few people can change the entire dynamic of your group of friends.
I feel like I am watching everything from space
And in a minute I'll hear my name and I'll wake
I think the finish line's a good place we could start
Take a deep breath take in all that you could want
And in a minute I'll hear my name and I'll wake
I think the finish line's a good place we could start
Take a deep breath take in all that you could want
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Track 11: In Her Eyes - Josh Groban
December 31st.
Up until yesterday, this date was my most detested date of the year. But after talking to some friends over supper last night, my opinion may have changed slightly.
I used to hate New Years Eve because it seemed to be all about staying awake as long as you could, just because you had to. I didn't get why the changing to a new day was such a big deal. I mean, the 1st of a new month happens 12 times a year. Doesn't seem so special to me.
But then Amanda pointed out how New Years always meant the chance for a new start. She said she's always seen it as an opportunity to start out with a clean slate. She said she hasn't forgotten the past, she's just chosen to not let it drag her down anymore, and the New Year is a blank canvas just waiting for her to create her story for the year.
As Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gabels one said, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it". Perhaps that's what New Years Eve means to so many people, and maybe that's how I should start looking at it. Everyone wants to start anew sometimes. Even me.
Up until yesterday, this date was my most detested date of the year. But after talking to some friends over supper last night, my opinion may have changed slightly.
I used to hate New Years Eve because it seemed to be all about staying awake as long as you could, just because you had to. I didn't get why the changing to a new day was such a big deal. I mean, the 1st of a new month happens 12 times a year. Doesn't seem so special to me.
But then Amanda pointed out how New Years always meant the chance for a new start. She said she's always seen it as an opportunity to start out with a clean slate. She said she hasn't forgotten the past, she's just chosen to not let it drag her down anymore, and the New Year is a blank canvas just waiting for her to create her story for the year.
As Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gabels one said, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it". Perhaps that's what New Years Eve means to so many people, and maybe that's how I should start looking at it. Everyone wants to start anew sometimes. Even me.
